Terrible 2's...3's...???

Does anyone have Super Nannies phone number? I do ask this in all seriousness because this week I have seriously considered putting AJ up for auction on EBAY. I am getting quite worried now because everyone that I have spoken to that knows our family keeps remarking about how much AJ reminds them of my younger sister. She used to get up to all sorts and because I was 5 years older I can remember watching in horror at her exploits for example, cutting her hair...locking my mother out of the house...painting an entire bedroom from carpet to furniture with white emulsion...tipping over her wardrobe, this was all from the early age of 2!! AJ is following in her Auntie's footsteps with great gusto!! I mentioned in an earlier entry that I was getting a new living room carpet on Monday, so whilst poor mummy was slogging away getting her living back to normal AJ was amusing herself up the stairs. Playing with her toys you maybe thinking...watching a video...colouring in...no...nothing is ever that simple with AJ. My darling child was amusing herself with a large tub of Sudocream(very white, very thick, very greasy and very hard to get off!) It was everywhere...all over her...all over my new stair carpet...all over my mirrored wardrobes...all over my bed(and for good measure she had added 500 cotton buds)..all over the back of my bedroom door and in turn all over her daddy's dressing gown...are you getting the picture? I was gobsmacked and in all honesty didn't know what to do first, so I put her in the bath and phoned my mum..."go into another room and count to 20" was her advice. So I did this but to be honest it was more like 50! It took me at least 10 minutes to remove all traces of the cream off of her and another good half hour to clean it off of everything else that she had smeared it on. It's actually amazing about how much damage a 3 year old can do in about 15 minutes. I am now quite terrified to leave her on her on because on top of the cream incident this week she has so far locked herself in my mum and dads toilet and tried to drink perfume and then today she poured a bottle of her dads aftershave down the sink and then she ripped up every page out of her big sisters favourite notepad! So highest bidder wins or any suggestions or anyone with some spare baby Valium please get in touch!!